7 Keys to Happy Parenting and How to Reduce Stress
Almost every parents main goal in life is to ensure maximum safety and happiness for their children, but many parents forget about their own personal happiness. This is a very important subject that all parents should be informed about, although doing everything for your child to the best of your ability seems to be the most responsible thing to do as a parent, it actually can be very irresponsible if the right precautions aren’t taken seriously. What we mean is this, slaving over your children is nearly impossible to avoid, but ensuring your own happiness and health is very easy to ignore and forget.
If you aren’t happy as a parent, your children won’t be as happy as of what they could of been if you were in a healthy and happy state in their lives. I know most of you hardcore moms out there will have the mindset that although you are “miserable” when slaving over your children and their messes, you are happy at the end of the day despite the stress and soreness that still lingers.
We will be going over the 7 best ways we know will help you as a parent start to feel happier and begin to parent with more of a purpose, rather than “slaving” while parenting. We hope you learn to use these key strategies to better help your parenting and overall help aid in brightening the vibe within your household and family for years to come. Here they are, The 7 Keys to Happy Parenting chosen by us, for you. Enjoy!
Reduce the Yelling!
Yes! That is right, stop the excessive yelling within the household and in public. Many parents eyes become very wide when they hear counselors and parenting experts say that yelling is actually harmful in almost every aspect there is to parenting and child development.
This is not a huge surprise, most of us grew up with parents who yelled and “beat” us kids, and we turned out fine, right? That is why many parents will ignore the experts and continue on with the family disciplinary actions that they witnessed during their upbringing. We personally urge you to give the non yelling household strategy a try, and if you can’t hold your own self control for just a day in order to give it a try, then you as the parent should start seeking a counselor to help manage your anger.
The reason behind happy parenting being linked to reduced yelling is pretty simple when you look at the scientific facts. When we as human beings start to yell for whatever reason, we get a spark of anger within our amygdala, which is a group of almond shaped nuclei hidden within the central hemisphere of our brain, which is involved in the process of feeling emotion. When this spark of anger hits the amygdala, blood rushes through the frontal cortex, resulting in an intense clouding of the brain and in turn, limiting rational thought throughout the entire brain.
This is where the “flight or fight” response kicks in, and in a lot of cases those with weak self control will react within seconds relying on their instincts to make the decision. A good way to combat your emotions if you are struggling with your own self control, is to count to 10 before choosing how to react. This gives you time to think if blowing up is necessary and in the end if it’s really worth it.
One of the biggest reasons to reduce the act of yelling within a household is the effect anger has on our adrenal glands, responsible for producing natural adrenaline. When you get that sudden urge of uncontrollable anger, not only is your amygdala going crazy with emotion, those adrenal glands are producing huge amounts of adrenaline, while redirecting your blood stream to your muscles instead of stomach and intestines, priming your body for whichever flight or fight response your body chooses to perform.
This adrenaline rush is felt almost instantaneously, as soon as your ears and eyes pick up any instance of danger, your amygdala and hypothalamus (a region of the forebrain that coordinates the autonomic nervous system and other emotional activities) have already sent stress signals to the adrenal glands before your subconscious even knows how to combat the threat, showing exactly how efficient the human body is at dealing with stress and danger.
These adrenaline rushes are fast acting, causing your heart to beat faster and harder, your eyes to dilate, and your body begins to produce sweat in order to try to cool your body temperature down, which is rising every few minutes. It sound crazy, but everyone has had it happen, and will continue if the person feels rage or major stress. When this happens, experts advise you to try and calm down with your own personal healthy strategies, waiting a minimum of 30 minutes for the adrenaline to pass through your body.
If provoked with the fight or flight response again during the cool down period, the cycle will repeat and continue until the person finally calms down. This effect can cause harm to your stress receptors and eventually deplete your immune system if too overly excessive. It is extremely important to understand why you get angry as a parent, and the effects it has on your health and body.
That way you can use your own mental awareness for the next time you have the urge to yell, and be able to stop and think if the problem is really big enough for yelling, or if your own health and happiness is more important in the long run.
Attitude is Key
Your attitude as a parent is extremely crucial to how you view your life and purpose as a parent. You should always have some sort of positive and optimistic attitude when you are dealing with any kind of stress, this way you can trick your mind into blocking out the negativity and replacing it with positivity.
Having no motivation can also cause problems for you as a parent, you won’t feel happy when you wake up and you will feel that way throughout the day. But having no motivation can come from having a poor attitude towards life, which is another problem within itself. An easy way to knock that habit is to put everything into the perspective of your children being first.
Everything you do is for your children, whether that be calming down when a traffic jam hits on the way to soccer practice, or seeing a big mess as a learning opportunity to teach your children how to be responsible. It’s all perspective based, which goes hand in hand with attitude and motivation as a parent.
If you keep in mind that your children are the most important thing in your life, then having a positive attitude should come naturally and easily, making you the parent happier over time.
Make Time for Each other
Remember, parenting isn’t a one sided thing, and being able to spend time with your spouse is important when it comes to happiness. Forming a strong relationship after you become parents will not only strengthen the bond you have with your significant other, but also help strengthen the love you both use to nurture your children and provide for them the best you can.
Spending time with your spouse doesn’t have to be a fancy expensive date every month (although it can), but it can be any form of bonding such as exercise, watching a t.v. series, shopping, and even the quick 20 minutes of coffee and breakfast before work at the kitchen table.
Finding time for each other will prove your love for one another, and overall make you both happier as parents and in your parenting.
Treat Yourself
With all the cooking, cleaning, and supervising parents have to go through on a daily basis, we really deserve a treat! We all can agree that our children are our number one priority, but boy do they tire us out. That is why treating yourself is needed every now and again.
You deserve to be able to go shopping for yourself, it will help you as a parent when it comes to shopping for the kids. So go ahead and go get your nails done, go buy those decorative pillows that match the couch, you will feel better in the long run. That’s right, its ok to drink that wine, you deserve it!
Connect with Your Child
It is important to connect with your child and make sure they feel safe when talking to you. Many children can preserve their parents as mean and not caring by mistake. This can happen from a negative tone in the parents voice, to excessive denial from the parent to child.
Ensuring that you show your children love and make it clear to them that you want to keep them safe is important for their development and relationship between you and them. Spending time with your children is essential to creating a bond with them.
Even if you work, using your days off to spend parent and child time is more beneficial then not spending any time at all. Strengthening your relationship between you and your children will not only create a lifelong bond, it will make you happier as a parent.
Understand development
Being able to understand the science behind your child’s behavior and current mental development will help you diagnose why something might be wrong and how to fix it.
Researching the effects of different parenting skills and the toll it takes on children developmentally will make you an expert parent, and being able to see your child grow developmentally will not only make you happier, it will help guide you and your child in the right positive direction.
Be Kind
An age old secret that many great leaders and activists have always preached about is kindness. Kindness is like a disease, it contagious. Even if you aren’t feeling particularly like being kind, having yourself be kind anyway will actually make you want to be kind.
Ever notice how stores with just one nice person can make the entire place seem just wonderful?
That’s the same thing as being kind at home, teaching and demonstrating kindness will cause your children and other household members to have a kinder and more positive vibe. Making you as a parent happy and calm, which makes for a perfect home and atmosphere.
It’s almost impossible as a parent to not get stressed and overwhelmed with responsibilities. But if you use the keys and strategies we provided in the list above, becoming a happier and healthier parent will be as easy as cake.
