12 Tips to Express Love Towards your Kid
“Parenting is easy” Happens to be something that a parent has never said. Parenting in general, on top of the job you already have to pay the bills, is more of a full time job — than an actual full time job!
Non-parents do not understand the trials and tribulations that we parents must conquer in order for us to raise and love our children, and let’s be honest, sometimes our kids do not make it easy on us either.
Children can be two handfuls at times. Whether they are acting like they are in mortal danger when dropping them off at school, or throwing tantrums in public that make you cringe, it is our duty to have unyielding love for our offspring for better or for worse and the whole nine yards.
One of the hardest aspects of raising our children can be accepting who they are, especially their imperfections. More importantly it is essential for our children to feel, and I emphasize feel, cherished and love so they thrive.
It seems more often that the children who feel loved and accepted for who they are, are often the ones that thrive the most. So how do you get them to feel loved? Let’s talk about some ways.
Understand and Love Yourself
It has been shown that there is a correlation between parents who feel depressed and the outcome it has on their children such as lashing out and other behavioral problems that do not stimulate effective parenting.
With that being said, happy parents most times induce happy children. How do we make sure we are happy as individuals? Something important to understand is that as ordinary people we will have good days and without a doubt bad days, so we must make the most of our good days and not dwell in the bad, also it goes without saying but do not leak the negativity of bad days on our children.
We do not control everything in our lives, however we must try to steer the events in our lives into positive outcomes if possible. It is also imperative that we love ourselves, it is easy to be overwhelmed by the success of others and the imperfections that we have.
Let seeing the success of others be motivation for your to reach your own aspirations, and let your imperfections be the things that make unique or qualities you work to improve. Your child seeing you being happy and seeking self improvement where necessary for the families sake will also empower them to emulate you.
Create Quality Time
Creating quality time is something that often gets overlooked when parenting. Can you remember the last time you actually set aside time to just “hang” with your little one? Play with your kids, let them choose what they want to do, no rules apply! Just go with the flow and allow yourself to have fun with them which is a key ingredient.
You can even try reading books together daily or have some time set aside through the week, cuddling up with your child and a good book is an amazing bonding experience and can potentially set them up with a lifetime of reading. From when you were young, how much of do you remember from what your parents said versus what they did?
Odds are that you remember more actions than words, and so will your child, as they will recall the family rituals like bedtime stories and game nights and other warm memories you create together. Scheduling some special time where there are no interruptions and just some blissful engagement between everyone, this is great way to show your love and affection.
Notice Your Child
Notice your child, in the sense that they know and feel as if they are seen. Verbally alert them that you are aware of their presence and their situations. Remember to acknowledge and verbalize things such as if they are working on project for a long time with
“Hey I see you have been working hard on that for a while now” or if you are at a restaurant and they are reviewing a meal with ingredients they normally don’t like with “remember, you dont like (ingredient)”.
Those are just some general basis things to allow your child to feel that the connection between is parentally intimate. The focus of noticing your child is not judge their behavior but to acknowledge their existence in your life and the world.
As mentioned before we know that children can be quite the handful or two especially when they exhibit behavior that is not always appropriate. However we should realize that are children are not born developed and that some of their weaknesses have the potential flip side to be one of their strengths.
For instance your little one might have anger control issues sometimes when they or their friends are teased or disrespected, could they possibly be a passionate fighter for justice? Could their lackadaisical attitude in some areas mean their imagination is elsewhere on something else they wish to pursue?
As parents we should analyze our children’s tweaks and quirks and help guide them to become the healthy unique individual they wish to become.
Understand Your Child’s Point of View
There are times when our kids behavior can be quite irritating, but sometimes it is necessary to step back and see how your child is interpreting things. Understand that taking time to see things through your child’s perspective is not about giving up your own, or judging if the way the see things is correct or wrong.
It is about allowing yourself the opportunity to understand them better. Punishment is not always the answer and can sometimes be more negative than beneficial, and as a parent you have the power of forgiveness. Of you connecting deeply with your child and improve communication it will allow your child to feel loved and cultivate a healthy and trusting relationship.
Have A Sense of Humor
Often sometimes as parents our children can see us as dictators telling them what they need to do and where they need to be all the time.
Oblige yourself to make an effort to make silly faces, have tickle wars from the tickle monster and create times of laughter, this will allow you and your child to relate to one another differently.
For many it can be a difficult afterthought to become natural especially with million other things running through your head, however understand that in the long run it is worth it. Laughter breeds love.
It’s Okay to Be Upset Sometimes
Understand children act like children because they are children. That does not mean they will grow to become criminals. Teach your children that the mistakes they make do not happen because they are bad, but because we are human and we all make mistakes from time to time, and make sure you understand this as well.
Your child will get in trouble, your child may even disobey you sometimes not because they “want to” necessarily, they are kids. Your children do not intentionally make you upset, it’s just the time for parenting to occur when it happens. Mercy goes a long way and both ways, so remember this and be just.
Listen not Hear
Hearing is just the simple act of recognizing sound by the ear. Listing however, is something you must choose to do consciously, it also requires concentration so your brain can process the meaning of the words that are being said.
Let’s apply that with our children, often our kids talk a lot and even more often we are more distracted than listening. We must challenge ourselves to listen more and to listen better and to even ask our children what they mean if we do not understand what it is that they are saying.
Stop watching the television, stop washing the dishes, stop letting yourself get distracted sometimes to really listen to your child. We love when someone devotes their attention to us, so I’m certain our children will feel the same.
Don’t Expect Perfection
Our children knock things over, throw tantrums, fall out, refuse to eat vegetables, and do all the other things that kids will do, it’s our job nonetheless to not hold it against them.
Let’s take the opportunity to love them, give them a chance to make up for their mistakes and guide them to better next time. When we began to expect nothing but perfection we don’t get to accept them for who they are and their imperfections that also make them one of a kind.
We should love ourselves and our kids no matter the mistakes we make. The way we react to adversity and setbacks creates the atmosphere where the relationship grows, and we want to make it loving and fruitful.
Invite Love Into the Environment
Take an extra step and organize the house to cater to your kid’s needs to promote ease and happiness throughout the day.
For example if your child is at the self sufficient stage, make sure that their snacks are in their reach in the pantry, their best cups and drinks readily available and their favorite books and toys in accessible places.
Just knowing the individual needs of our children, while accessing and changing with their growth, goes that extra mile for your child to feel that you love them.
A Smile a Day
It can be so easy just to go through the standard day to day routine with a “meh” face on,or a face void of emotion. I know this is fact because, I have had those “going through the motion” type of days.
However, I have learned that by putting some enthusiasm into the daily activities especially the ones that seem the most mundane simply by slapping a smile on has positive affects not only to me but passes to my children as well.
If they are assured that I am enjoying what I am doing especially when it comes to them, they will better feel my love everyday. There is no need to pretend everything is enjoyable, even so we can still choose to be happy daily through our lives.
Be a Parent
The role of “parent” is definitively broad, we are the provider, caretaker, nurturer, and first friend of our children. Parenting is the sum of everything that we have went through in life.
As parents we are unique to our past, life experiences, beliefs, and circumstances from those next door. Parenting is journey which mistakes will be made, we are human. The positive from the mistakes we make are the skills we develop and pass on to our children.
If we can parent with all our heart, and at the end of the day our children are still our friends, they will surely feel loved and this is one of the most important qualities to come from us.