Dealing with Teenage Temper Tantrums
The wonderful years of having a teen in the house have come. You probably are wondering what happened to your sweet young daughter or son as their hormones rage and you have no clue what is going on with your teen. One minute your teen is happy and the next minute they are throwing a tantrum over something that is totally foreign to you. You are not alone, many parents have gone through the same thing you are going through. You just have to learn how to understand your teen. Some parents have had children later in life and times have changed tremendously in the last 25 years with social media. Parents that grew up in the 60’s can remember when the calculator came out. Most of you probably didn’t even use your parent’s telephone because you probably just rode your bike or walked to meet your friends. Most of you probably had a summer job and got your license at 16 and drove your parents’ car or had your friends pick you up. The stipulations on driving have changed immensely since the number of DUI’s have increased the years. This also might have you worrying as your teen reaches the age of wanting to ride around with teens older than they are. Not all teens will throw tantrums but the majority will throw at least a few during the wonderful and memorable years of being a teenager.
There are ways to start curbing the tantrum process when your teen is young. The age from birth to six is very important for the development of your child’s character. These are the formative years that your child will develop a personality and bonding is very important at birth.
Children can start throwing temper tantrums at a very young age.
This is where you as a parent have to start teaching your child “NO”. We have all heard the saying “you give an inch, and children will push for a mile.” This is very true so curbing tantrums has to begin at a young age. You don’t have to yank your child by the arm out of the store, but if your child starts having a tantrum, you can gently and quietly instruct your child that you are both leaving the store and explain why it’s important to behave at home and in public. There are always going to be consequences for negative actions so the sooner you teach your child, the less likely you will have a spoiled teenager. Here are some ideas to cope with teen tantrums.
Talk about their ability to influence
Talk to your teen about how they can have a positive influence on you and other family members and adults in their life. Tell your teen he or she will gain more freedom and less supervision.
The key to understanding
You as the parent have to realize that the two normal behaviors of teens are self-centeredness and they feel entitlement. You also have to remember to teach your children at a young age that the world doesn’t revolve around them. The sooner they realize this the better. This will help make your teen experience much smoother. Many teens believe they can make their own decisions without consulting their parents. They think parents are senile and will test your memory at every chance they get. Teens want complete freedom, absolutely no parental advice, and one foot in hot water at all times. Simply put, teens do not want much supervision. You should understand that this is normal.
Teens worry constantly about what people think about their status and the impact they have on other teens. Teens moods most often relate to how they are perceived in the settings of their peers. When relationships go good, teens seem easier to get along with but when the door slamming starts, you know something went wrong with their day. Don’t be afraid to kindly tell them to start over and close the door again quietly. Most likely the stressor isn’t about you, there is something else triggering this behavior. Remind your teen that by starting over and closing that door quietly, they are going to keep their freedom.
Teach teens about positive and negative influences
Trust is important between you and your teen and when you both have trust, your teen will have quite a bit of positive influence with you. When your teen understands how much her influence affects you as a parent, he or she will be less likely to destroy your trust. When your teen can accept “NO” for an answer without disrespecting you, this is what will build more trust. Teens have to learn how to manage their emotions in a positive manner. This, in turn, will continue to build more trust. Always keep the door open for conversation and treat your teen the way you want to be treated. Remember to set positive examples.
Coot it on the grounding
All teens are going to rebel at one time or another but if you as the parent decide to use grounding as a punishment, be reasonable. Grounding a teen for the entire school year is unrealistic and you are only going to add more frustration to both of your lives. Most teens love to go to a friend’s house after school. Limit the grounding to a few days.
You don’t realize that after a few days of not being able to socialize, your teen will most likely have ants in their pants to get out and will earn your trust more by behaving. Don’t give in and be firm. Sullen faces and door slamming or name calling isn’t appropriate either. If you have a good relationship with your teen, most likely they will understand the consequences.
A good relationship begins at birth and you spend many years teaching your child that the choices they make will affect the outcome of the consequences. Your teen will know if they are loved because the process starts in the womb. There are always tragedies that can occur during the formative years that will require extra help. If you feel your teen is heading towards trouble, there is always outside help for your child. There are many good guidance counselors at school that can help you as a parent make the decision to seek another method of help. Counseling never hurts if you feel you and your teen both need a mediator.